How to Keep My Marriage Alive: A Simple Step to Maintain the Bond

To keep your marriage alive will require many steps, one of which is to build a solid foundation. Foundations in a relationship is similar to a foundation in a structure. It is solid, strong, and determines the strength of the building. Marriages can't grow off of a foundation that has cracks and uneven. The foundation to a marriage is creating a secure relationship bond with emotional safety. The stronger the bond, the easier it will be to communication, to be intimate, to regain trust, etc.

Here is a simple step to maintain and keep your marriage alive, by one simple step a day.

The Relationship Book

You get to dig up the old foundation and set up a new one. Buy a Notebook and use this pad of paper for the next 30 days to give reassurance, words of encouragement, love, thank yous, etc. Every day you and your partner should add to this booklet by writing messages to one another. Don’t just get a pad of paper that has coffee spilt on it. You don’t want that to represent your new foundation, do you? Get something that you want to represent your relationship, the new chapter of your marriage, the new foundation…with meaning.

How to use this Relationship Book:

Reasons Why I love you
Give reasons to why you love your partner and what makes you tick. Remind them what things you love about them, it could be from the way they brush their teeth in the morning to when they snuggle on the couch with you. Life can get busy and we can overlook sharing why we love our partner. Remind them why. Your partner can't read your mind!

If your partner is about to face a big day at the office, give them words of encouragement, inspiration to get through the day. Often times the simple words of "you can do it" can energize someone to get through a stressful day. Encourage your partner and tell them you believe in them.

This is the time to be flirty, playful (yet loving), and kinky. Spice up the bond and flirt with your partner, be playful, or draw fun picture. Write a poem or create an invitation to go on a date. Playful and fun is a MUST for building a strong relationship foundation.

Thank You’s
Share what you are thankful for in the relationship. If you notice that your partner made an extra effort today to make the bed or to cook breakfast, thank them. If you see them stepping out of their comfort zone, tell them you notice. Share how your partner's positive steps are impacting you.

Remember When’s
Write down times that you two had a great time and the reasons you felt so close. For example, "Remember when we went on our first date and we didn't eat the food (even though we were hungry) because we were so into one another?" The remember whens bring back good feelings and can influence how you two interact now.

Learn about the author Jennine Estes, Marriage and Family Therapist MFC#47653. Or read her other relationship blog called Relationships in the Raw.