The “She Only Wants Me for My Money” Fear
Simply because society has a history of the traditional gender roles of a man “bringing home the bacon,” it doesn’t necessarily mean that you must provide at all times. Times have changed….women now pitch in and sometimes might even take the man out on the date. If you are afraid that she only wants you for your money, stop watching and waiting to see her change. Instead, start a dialogue about your concerns and give her an opportunity to give you clarity.
Check-in with your partner. She may not know how this impacts you or your expectations of finances. Take off the pressure of having to pay for everything and find a way for the two of you share some of the daily expenses. Also, take a look within: Is trusting people a common issue for you, or is this something you only have with your partner? Be open to the possibility that she may be in your life for other reasons than simply money.
And for the Partner: Women shouldn’t assume, nor expect that he will or should pay for all of their daily expenses. Men want to know they are needed beyond their bank account, so don’t mooch off of them! Don’t let your partner feel as if you only want him for his financial support. Offer to pay for daily expenses, occasionally take him out on a date (you paying), bring him gifts, and/or make him dinner. Calm his fears by communicating your appreciation and create a few free dates to take away the pressure of finances. This will help teach him that you see him beyond his wallet.
Learn about the author Jennine Estes, MFT (MFC#47653) at her San Diego Counseling Website or visit her other relationship blog Relationships In the Raw.