Date Your Spouse Again

 

Dating your spouse again brings back fun and connection into the relationship. As time goes on and we become more comfortable, responsibilities pile on, and date night gets put on the back burner. Reignite the romance by dating your spouse again. If you feel like you've gotten into a space where you "have nothing to talk about," try treating it like a date in a new relationship. Ask questions like the courting period of your dating - what do you do at your job, tell me about your family, what are your dreams and goals, etc. Even if you think you know the answer, often couples find they learn something new when they try this technique. If you need an idea about what to do on date night to make it special, get inspired by reflecting on your first dates. Taking a trip down memory lane will elicit positive feelings and deepen connection. 

When should you do this? At any time. This strategy is useful for all couples, whether you are feeling secure and connected, if there has been a bit of space lately, or if you are feeling more like roommates than lovers. Dating your spouse again does not mean a step back for your relationship. In fact it's a step forward. Thinking of the date as a first or early date is a great way to reframe how you think of communicating with your partner. Reflect back on the beginning of your relationship when there was excitement and enthusiasm. When you had those butterflies and couldn’t help but smile when you told your friends or family about them. What drew you to your partner in the first place? What were your first dates like? Reignite or strengthen that spark!

Especially now with quarantine, it is so easy for it to feel like groundhog’s day - and when the work/home life line is blurry and the days all mush together, it can lead to decreased mood and a lack of motivation. Many relationships are facing some sort of struggle since stay at home restrictions began. Having a date night that recreates one of your early dates is a way to have fun and connect. Not only will your relationship strengthen, but your mood will be boosted too!

Additionally, thinking of your partner as if this was the beginning of the relationship helps remind you that your partner cannot read your mind. After a long time with a partner, this notion tends to slip into the back of people’s minds. That their partner must know what they are thinking. No matter how in tune, connected, and close you are with your partner, or anyone, they cannot read your mind. You need to express yourself. 

You can check out 6 Steps to Dating Your Spouse Again here. 

Article by Sarah O'Leary